The next BIG step

Three key steps in ensuring the smoothest transition from Primary to Secondary School.

It’s time. It’s imminent. It’s exciting. It’s intriguing. It’s terrifying. It’s too soon.

So many feelings and emotions are flying around as our Primary Sevens (year six) get ready to move to Secondary School. How they feel about it, is often very much connected to how we feel about it. So, how do you feel? Can you believe that your child is moving to High School? Did you have a good experience when you moved up? What was your experience of High School in general? What messages have you already put out there? These questions are helpful as they bring to the forefront not only our children’s transition experience but also the part that we play when supporting them. The great news is that we can help our children prepare for their NEXT BIG STEP no matter what our experience and no matter how they are feeling about it. Moving to High School can be a really exciting time.

There are three key ways that we can help them (and ourselves) get ready for the move. To start with, we need to have an open mind and be willing to give things a try, no matter how we feel about it. Going in with a negative mindset will dilute the impact of the following tips. Are you willing to have an even slightly open mind?

AMAZING! Let’s go!

Where are we right now? It is important to give space to the feelings that children have around this time. What questions they might have, what worries are they having, what things are on their mind. The important part is accepting that this is how they are feeling. Accept it and then they can let it go. It’s important for us to know, as the adults offering support, that there is a solution to almost everything. Holding on to fears and not taking action will leave them exactly where they are. However your child feels, notice it and help them think things through rather than staying stuck. Building resilience happens through experience. If they have never dealt with difficult things on their own how can they show how they will cope. Smoothing all the bumps won’t build strength but foster reliance on you. We want to be confident that they can do things even when you are not there. Yes we want to be supportive, but that can be picking them up rather than stopping them from falling.

Let’s celebrate!

Sometimes the thought of a move can be overwhelming. The feelings, emotions and thoughts can take up a lot of time and space. It’s helpful to check if these are positive or negative thoughts. Those which are helpful and those which are definitely not. The first step helps to look at where they are and this next step helps to bring our children’s thoughts out of the negative and reminds them what a varied time they’ve had already in school. Help them celebrate getting to this stage. Help them remember the fun times they have had. Even if there have been challenges, they are not the only part of the experience. Scientists show us that even a memory of a happy time releases the happy hormone, dopamine. Having higher levels of dopamine can shift our mood and help us feel optimistic about upcoming events. Take some time to write down fun times, special friends, things they’ve loved learning, favourite teachers, class pets, the time the teacher wore 2 odd shoes. The list will be endless. Look back at old photos, create a journal which can be a wonderful keepsake. They may be nervous about a change in friendships depending on what school they are going to. Remind them that at the beginning of school they probably didn’t know half the people they do now. It is a wonderful time for making new, as well as staying in touch with old friends. It is natural and important to embrace this change. Remind yourself how far your baby has come. It’s worth celebrating and helps children filter out the negative voice which can sometimes dominate at this important time of their life.

Where are we going?

The final part is looking at where they are going. If at first they talk about the scary aspects of moving, go back to parts 1 and 2. Remind them that they have come so far. They have tackled big things and made it this far. In helping children prepare, we have to be sure that we are prepared. Not just in the sense of having the books, lunch box and uniform, but in being prepared mentally. Know that you have access to support. There are people who can help answer questions, provide information and explain how things work. Schools are at their very heart, pupil centred and organised to make things as stress free as possible. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be things that you might not agree with or wish were slightly different but working together with an open mind means all the difference in seeking solutions. Where we might not find the information on first look, we can request a chat with a member of the Pupil Support team. Looking for faults or flaws will slow down the process and leave children worried when they need not be. Again, create a journal and plan which includes key things such as: What their route to school will be, how they can make a friend on the first day, what the uniform looks like, what they can do at lunch time, what the building looks like and who some of the teachers might be. We can learn so much by just taking a look at the School website.

The move is going to happen. Our approach is what will determine its success. We have got this, we just have to believe in our children and our schools, along with some practical planning.

I’d love to hear your stories of moving to High school. Email me at hello@wildmindsinc.co.uk